Facebook Status? Single. Now it’s official.
You know what I hear when someone mentions Valentine’s day? The bankrupt sound on Wheel of Fortune. Ladies, no offense, but chocolate, flowers and restaurants are available all year round. Just sayin’. Wouldn’t it mean more if you received all these gifts when it wasn’t February 14th, and said items weren’t so ridiculously priced? I know this is one of those days out of the whole year you like to feel extra appreciated. Or maybe this is your first Valentine’s with a new man. I get it. I’ve been there. Not the new man part, but you catch my drift. You want to show that dreaded co-worker your boyfriend knows how many dollar signs you’re worth. I am sure I’m going to get slapped for that one.
Guys, you’re not innocent either! Fellas, I too, know expectations are high once the date is over. By high, I mean the sum of the bill, but shame on you. Get your head out of the gutter! Can’t you just enjoy the company of your lady friend without expecting what happens later? Tsk tsk. There’s just so much pressure on a holiday devoted to love. Can’t we just enjoy one another’s company without reservations and bouquets? I don’t need a chalk flavored heart to know I’m Special. A phone call from Mom will suffice.
I still find it tough to stomach the fact that my parents share their Anniversary on this day. Suckers! Who does that? I’ll tell you who! Mr. and Mrs. Dragone, but hey, I love em’! It IS Valentine’s Day after all. Gotta love someone!
All kidding aside, I always let my past girlfriends know I Ioved them three hundred sixty odd days a year, ninety-some percent of the time, and more so when I was allowed Guy’s Night. But I’m single now and this year I’m going to save the $70 on roses and the $100 dinner for two and celebrate in a way that shows, “Kevin, it’s okay to be single and here’s what we’re going to do.”
First, we’re going to scour the best Happy Hour scene and wear anything we want, BUT RED. And we’re going someplace that has a phenomenal beer selection on tap, such as Pickering Creek Inn, the Fenix or Bistro on Bridge. And with this Chocolate Imperial Stout just ordered (hey, Valentine’s Day doesn’t OWN all things chocolate), I’m going to dive into some wings as well. I’m feeling Bistro’s Bee Sting or maybe six Bee Sting and six Bourbon Street. Who knows?! And hey, I don’t care if I get sauce in my beard! Gonna savor the flavor tonight! I don’t have anyone to impress. The weekend; however, will be a different story.
When I’m done paying my tab, which will most likely run me somewhere under twenty bucks, I’ll throw in a nice tip to the bartender for working such a wonderfully commercialized holiday. On the way home, I’ll pop into one of my local favorites to grab a six pack or bottle for takeout. Franco Ristorante has a great spread, and if it’s available, I think a sixer of Flying Dog Raging-You-Know-What sounds appropriate.
And then, home sweet home. What’s this? I froze a Heart Shaped Reese Cup in the Freezer earlier? Score. Now that I have my sixer, it’s time to enjoy my solitude. At this point, I’m ahead a Bajillion Dollars because I didn’t have to book a reservation or purchase a thousand dollar greeting card in Zapfino font.
As I make it up my steps, I’m granted the satisfaction that I didn’t have to sprinkle rose petals I’d have to clean up later or worry my place would burn down from a hundred scented candles. No. It’s just me, six cold beauties and Netflix. Ah yes, Netflix, loaded with a hundred movies at my disposal or really, ten solid ones when you weed out the ninety some “winners” that are horrific.
So what’s the tally? Let’s see.
Bistro on Bridge Happy Hour
- $6.50 Wings
- $6.00 a Beer (just rounding up)
+ Tax and Tip
Total = $18.25
Six Pack from Flying Dog Brewing Company
- $12.99
+ Tax and Tip
Total = $13.77
Reese’s Cup
- $1.06
Grand Total = $33.08-ish
And with four beers left over from the sixer, it’s the gift that keeps on givin’, tomorrow!
I’m sure, no, I’m certain there’s some of you shaking your head reading this. “You’re just jealous!” you’ll say. Sure, today, I’m Charlie Brown with his share of Good Griefs. Then again, today, I’m also Kevin Dragone with a few extra bucks in his pocket for the weekend. Ladies, did I mention I’m single?
Aw, what the Heck. Happy Valentine’s Day!
