Running On Empty: Mary’s 5K Survival Guide

This past weekend I ran a 5K in my hometown, and it was quite an experience! Here are a few tips to help make your next 5K as delicious as mine was.

Mary’s Tips

1. Planning: The best time to decide to run a race is no more than a half hour prior to the start of the 8 am race. In particular, it’s best to literally wake up half an hour before the race, and then make the commitment to running.
2. Preparation: To prepare your body for the most “burn,” it’s best to not run AT ALL for at least 6 months prior to the race.
3. Clothing: I prefer to wear dirty gym clothes that happened to be in my car from the week prior. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to scrounge a sports bra, shorts, two socks and two sneakers from your gym bag. Back-up plan: borrow necessary items from your mom.
4. Hygiene: Don’t forget to forget to apply deodorant!
5. Fuel: I highly recommend grabbing no more than a handful of Cheerios from your sister’s breakfast and three good gulps of water as you dart out the door. Who wants to run on a full stomach?
6. Parking: With all the crowds you never can be sure where to leave your car. When in doubt, leave your car facing the wrong way on the wrong side of the street. Hey, thinking on your feet is what it takes to ensure you have time to get to the starting line.
7. Registration: To avoid lines, it’s best to register about 8 minutes before the race starts. You also get very personalized service as all other volunteers have left the registration area by this time, so you can really get to know the one person left to man the tables.
8. Payment: I find it to be the most cost-effective to provide a credit card number when they only take cash or check. Of course, they will not take credit cards, so it usually helps to reintroduce yourself to your junior high vice principle so she trusts you enough to pay with an IOU (for those of you who are organized, this means “I owe you”—clever, right?).
9. Bib: This is the fun “look like a real runner” number that you are supposed to attach (at each corner) to your shirt using the four pins provided. I find it best to only use two pins (with the remaining pins still attached to the two pins) so that your bib flys in your face while you run the race.
10. Timing chip: It’s great to arrive at the starting line with moments to spare and forget your timing chip. That way you can get in a warm-up sprint to the out-of-the-way chip booth before the gun goes off.
11. Mile 1: It’s best to start out with the seven-minute-mile folks so that you can use the frustration from having everyone pass you for the first 10 minutes to motivate you to walk after running for a mile.
12. Say cheese: Don’t forget to keep a smile on your face when you do decide to walk, as the professional photographer clicks away at you and the nonwalkers, er–runners.
13. Mile 1.5: The feeling of wanting to purge your stomach of all those Cheerios is totally normal. Once you overcome this feeling it’s great to motivate yourself to pick up the pace, which will give you that special dizzy feeling.
14. Mile 2: This is when you realize you are almost done and you can pick up your pace toward the finish line. Don’t forget to look back to make sure there are at least 10 other people behind you. You don’t want to be a loser in the late pack.
15. Almost mile 3: Dry heave.
16. Finish line: This is when everyone who is faster than you waits to clap for you. Take advantage of all the people watching to remind yourself how embarrassing it would be to get sick on the finish line.
17. Crossing the line: Find your best friend in the crowd to make eye contact with so at least someone you know could drive you to the hospital, if needed. When she congratulates you on a good job let her know you are going to be sick and find a tree to hold you up. Take advantage of her offer to get you some water.
18. FOOD LINE: This is the best part of the race! After all that hard work you get to enjoy freshly cut bananas, watermelon (without the seeds), bagels, orange juice and cold, refreshing bottled water.
19. Follow-up: Ask your dad for some money to pay back your junior high vice principal to clear your IOU.
20. Pride: Be proud of your time…all 33 minutes of it!

The Final Dish: Honestly, the food line was worth not being able to walk for the past three days.