The first bartender has Ryan Gosling looks combined with long locks, a beatific gaze and an ever-present smile that makes him resemble a “surfer dude.”His partner at the bar is all big movements and action, shifting from side to side, always pouring and wiping out glasses.
He maintains a large physical presence with a – who is he reminding me of? – maybe a younger version of Vince Vaughn, with his “in-on-the-joke” twinkle in those dark eyes, and his casual, free-nature style.
The former is Brendan Conner, 30, Philly ‘burbs born and bred, a local guy who now resides in Parkerford with his girlfriend and their three year-old son, Eli.
The latter is Nick Cimino, 34, who hails originally from Pottsgrove and currently lives in Royersford.
Together they hold court while keeping the libations flowing at The Epicurean Restaurant & Bar just west of Phoenixville. Wednesday & Saturday nights are their shifts together, just as it has been for the last five years.
Brendan’s primary bartending experience has been here at “The Ep,” though he tended at a steakhouse in Clearwater, Florida for a spell. Nick’s lineage as a mixologist runs a bit deeper. He used to serve Hurricanes and Red Stripes at the famed Tiki Bar near Boyertown.
I catch up with the two of them at the start of a recent shift as a baseball playoff game begins. The stoked-up crowd filters in to eat, drink and properly worship our Phillies. Nick is pacing like a panther behind the bar in his #33 Cliff Lee jersey. Brendan is the man-in-black in his Epicurean bartender’s garb, which looks infinitely more tailored on him than it ever would on me.
The questions commence and so does the serious drinking:
What are some of your favorite local bars?
Brendan: I don’t really have an interest in being in a bar since I’m here all the time. Besides, having a three year-old, the only place I frequent is Chuck E. Cheese where (he laughs) all the employees in the arcade know me.
Nick: Favorite bars?
Brendan: It’s all a blur, right?
Nick: Yeah, I get out of work and the blackout begins. No, seriously, I like the Craft Ale House in Limerick, Jack Cassidy’s (Pottstown), and Union Jack’s (Boyertown). Oh, ever been to Teresa’s Next Door in Wayne?
What are your favorite beverages to consume?
Brendan: Anything is fun for me especially, drinks that are seasonal.
Nick: I’m a seasonal drinker, too. When it’s hot out I’ll drink vodka and margaritas. Now in the colder months: bourbon and ginger. Beer-wise, IPA’s; a pilsner when it’s warmer…
Brendan: A little kolsch for me.
Nick: Yeah, kolsch when it’s hot. (Then, sarcastically) Cannonballing some wine and a bevy of other alcoholic punishments.
Brendan: Definitely, a melee of internal punishments.
Favorite menu items at The Epicurean?
Brendan: I’m a big seafood person. I love our scallops. I love the majority of our tapas. I enjoy trying a lot of little things instead of heavy portions.
Nick: I love the Pistachio Soy Salmon, I’m a meat guy – the seared filet as an entrée is tops. Salads? Big Roquefort fan. And, for dessert, there’s “The Zango” – Fried cheesecake wrapped in a flour tortilla, deep fried and topped with sugar and cinnamon. Yum!
The boys break away from me. Nick snatches a glass off the bar. “Another Stone IPA?” he asks his regular with a combination of reverence and rapture. “Love this stuff!” he winks at the patron as he pours another frothy round. Meanwhile, Brendan is circulating throughout the room. When their area is busy, he’s the one who goes out from behind the bar to work the nearby tables while Nick – Brendan admits his coworker has more bar experience – cranks out drinks for patrons and service staffers alike.
I overhear Brendan tantalize a table of three by reciting one of the night’s specials: “Roasted fig with Gorgonzola on bruschetta with a brandy glaze.” Mom and dad listen intently as their two year-old flirts, batting her baby blues at him.
“That’s the way you do it! Everybody hits!” Nick bellows as Ryan Howard slams one out of the park. He doles out air-high fives across the Ep’s teeming bar.
When they both return, I have one more request for them:
How about a good bar joke?
Brendan: Mine are all too dirty!
Nick (Impressively extemporaneous): Okay, here’s one. Three mice are sitting around having a couple drinks, they’re each bragging, beginning to get beer muscles and they start comparing who’s the strongest mouse. The first mouse says, ‘I’m the strongest mouse; you know the cyanide poison they put in the corners? I eat that stuff for breakfast!’ The second mouse, he says, ‘See those cheese traps? I kick those big mouse killers aside and get right to the cheese.’ The third mouse begins to walk away, and the others ask, ‘Hey, where are you going?’ He looks at them coolly. ‘I’m off to @#%& the cat.’
Eruptions of laughter. On that typically-Nick note, I finish my brew.
“Check, please!”
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