Mary Plays Poker

As I sent you all an e-mail from my phone last week while at Appetites on Main in Exton, I finished off my beer and went into the back room to say good bye to a friend who was playing poker. As I stood aside the tables of very serious-faced men and women of varying ages, I waited for my friend to glance my way so I could wave good bye.

I planned to be discrete, so I didn’t interrupt the other players, but Anthony, the large Italian guy clearly “in charge” of poker night, had another plan. Just as my friend made eye contact with me, Anthony yelled, “Hey Nick, do you have room at your table for this chick?”

As all four tables of poker-faced participants looked my way I whispered that I really didn’t know how to play and that I didn’t have the money anyway.

“It’s free, don’t worry. They’ll show you what to do.”

And that was it. I was handed a pile of chips and another bottle of Miller Light, and I took the one remaining seat. I got a round of nods from the table of men I was now playing poker with and I made an announcement: “Hello everyone. I’m Mary and I have no idea what the heck I’m doing. I’m hoping that perhaps you could help me out and not take advantage of me.”

I was advised to watch the next round, and got giddy when a hand was eventually dealt to me. As the night went on, I began to relax and enjoy the laidback “dealings” of the evening. I nursed a few beers, eyed up the snacks that our friendly cocktail waitress, Sarah, was bringing out and learned as much as I could about poker (For the record, the potato skins and spinach dip looked way worthy of a try for my next visit.).

The end result was that I was NOT the first to go from the table; in fact, I was the fourth to go. But only ’cause I had a date to get to anyway. Although I would play again, I’m much better at using tables for eating on, not playing on. I thought I’d share a few good bites from the evening.

Overheard throughout the night:

“Does anyone want to see a card trick? It’s a really good one.”
– Me to everyone when it was my turn to deal. (As the night went on, I did get a chance to do my magic trick and it went over very well, thank you very much.)

“Hey Carlos. Wait, I mean Anthony. I didn’t mean to call you Carlos.”
– Me to Anthony, the big guy in charge. He didn’t like that very much.

“You can’t announce what cards you have.”
– Nick to me.

“How the heck do I even look like a Carlos? I’m Italian. I don’t know any Spanish.”
– Anthony to me.

“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t looking at your cards, I was looking at the potato skins.”
– Me to a guy at another table.

“Wow, now it looks like I have way more than all of you.”
– Me, of course, after cashing in a $100 chip for 100 $1 chips.

“I love that we have our own cocktail waitress; it’s like we are on a cruise ship.”
– Me to Nick.

“Just for the record, guys, our table is having way more fun than all of these other tables.”
– Me to my new posse of boys… they agreed.

“Seriously, I don’t even eat Mexican food, and I look like I’m straight off the boat from Italy. How do you get Carlos?”
– Again, Anthony to me.

“Do you guys know each other? No? Oh‚ you keep giving each other ‘the look’ you know, like the ‘I know what your cards are dude’ kind of look.”
– Me to two guys who never met and never said a word to each other the entire evening.

“I think I want to bluff this round. I’m gonna work on my bluffing skills, let me know how I do.”
– Me to my table.

“All in. I’m all in.”
– My final words before going out.

“Are you looking at my cards? No? Well, can you? I need help.”
– Me to Nick.

The Final Dish: I definitely got more blushes than flushes that night, but the company, snacks and beer made it all worthwhile. Not sure about going back to play poker, but I’m sure I’ll be back for the potato skins and spinach dip.